Book 1 - Blue Oblong
Regulation and integration of behaviour, thoughts and feelings, maturation of beliefs and values (especially those to do with conventions, rules and relationships with authority), understanding of pace, timeliness and timelessness, combined with stability (perhaps stagnation).
In the context from which your issue arose, consider the following.
Either:Prior to you becoming aware of your issue, your experience was characterized by a relatively stable, secure, unchanging lifestyle; and expectations of yourself, the World and your relationships with the World as being settled and unchanging. You were aware that stability, perhaps to the point of rigidity, was valued by those around you. You were aware that some others led lives of chaos and confusion and you may have felt superior or fortunate to be living an orderly, sensible lifestyle. The stability of your surroundings gave you opportunity to work steadily on long-term projects or maintain a lifestyle that suited you. You were aware that you had options but gave stability a high priority at this stage, enjoying being yourself with your clear and settled understanding of yourself and the world around you.
At the time of the situation from which your issue arises, Your own energies involved were -
A mature sense of time and pacing, time management, timeliness, judgment of when it is worth expending effort and when it is not. You were appreciative of the good things you had, aware that others either lacked this appreciation or didn't have what you had.
You have developed confident regulation of your own physicality, your impulses, your emotions and your thoughts. You have examined the beliefs and values of your upbringing or your work or social group and you have rejected some, moderated others, and created some new ones for yourself.
You are at a point where you feel accepting or satisfied with yourself and your place in the World.
You can look back on earlier stages of your life when you were more reactive, or more emotionally or hormonally driven or more caught up in trying to analyse or understand the world around you - and you know that you have already completed that stage of your development. You may still, at times, examine your beliefs and values, but by-and-large, you are your own person, mature and stable.
You view others who have passions, impulses, emotional highs and lows or who get excited about ideas as being at less mature stages of life. Sometimes you feel patience and compassion towards them, sometimes amusement and sometimes annoyance that they haven't got control of their lives as much as you. You believe that moral expectations and rules often have a pragmatic basis which people do not encounter until they suffer the natural consequences of rule-breaking. Therefore, you do not demand guilt or shame from others when they want to transgress traditional rules, but you ask them to consider the impact on themselves and others. Yourself, you recognise that seemingly empty conventions or rules are soundly based in ancient wisdom. You admire leaders who maintain stability by observing conventions and enforcing rules.
Or an opposite of the above
Either you failed to take control of your own destiny, your own thoughts, emotions, impulses, behaviour,
or you had not learnt patience or timing,
or you failed to comply with convention or failed to understand that seemingly empty conventions were based on helpful ancient wisdom,
or you felt betrayed when those in authority of some aspect of your life overturned or neglected a convention of importance to you,
or you had no appreciation of your own good fortune to have the stable lifestyle that you had,
or you failed to appreciate the pragmatism behind moral imperatives.